Dear Diary,

It has been a long time since we’ve last spoken. I missed you. No, no, I really missed you. Oh, stop it, I know I’m not irreplaceable. Oh, you make me blush so hard that I might as well be taken as an Easter egg. What? No, I haven’t lost weight. But YOU on the other hand, God, you look stunning, dear! Oh, stop it, you!

Ok, let me tell you how I’ve been doing these past few months. I have been terribly depressed by the fact that I cannot be funny anymore. Being funny is a damn hard job, you see. No matter how hard I try, no matter how deep I dig, my creativity well when it comes to funny things seems to be dry.

Also, I have been doing a lot of research on awnings. But I will keep that super-important stuff for myself. Sorry, it’s classified information. No, no, I can’t share it. Other than that, I have been sleeping really well. I usually sleep 8 hours now, which is a good thing. I sleep 4 hours at night, then 2 more at school and then 2 more when I get home. Life has never been sweeter.