Ever Tried? Fail Better

I know you’ve missed me, guys. Fortunately for all the people I owe money to (promise to give them back even if it’s the last thing I do, guys), I am not dead. Or at least not yet.

A long time ago I promised a lecture on irony and sarcasm. And then I miserably failed to keep up with my promise (I did however try to share a very cute prezi presentation with you- I swear to God, it was very cute and informative, but I think there’s a conspiration against me and my blog and they don’t allow you to see it, it’s probably some Illuminati shit going on there).

What happened?

I spilled coffee all over the keyboard.

And then I got broke. I’ve always been poor but the last few weeks have been, uh, very un-productive (by the way, do you know someone who needs a freelance writer to write stuff for them?).

But now I’m back. And I will deliver my thing. Stay around and you’ll get the lecture. I promise.

Yeah, I know I did that the last time as well.

Dear Diary,

It has been a long time since we’ve last spoken. I missed you. No, no, I really missed you. Oh, stop it, I know I’m not irreplaceable. Oh, you make me blush so hard that I might as well be taken as an Easter egg. What? No, I haven’t lost weight. But YOU on the other hand, God, you look stunning, dear! Oh, stop it, you!

Ok, let me tell you how I’ve been doing these past few months. I have been terribly depressed by the fact that I cannot be funny anymore. Being funny is a damn hard job, you see. No matter how hard I try, no matter how deep I dig, my creativity well when it comes to funny things seems to be dry.

Also, I have been doing a lot of research on awnings. But I will keep that super-important stuff for myself. Sorry, it’s classified information. No, no, I can’t share it. Other than that, I have been sleeping really well. I usually sleep 8 hours now, which is a good thing. I sleep 4 hours at night, then 2 more at school and then 2 more when I get home. Life has never been sweeter.