How to Survive Christmas

No, I am not Grinch coming to steal your Christmas. I love it, somehow. OK, maybe LOVE is a very strong word, but nevertheless, I like it. Sometimes. Whaaat?! At least I am not like my friend who told me that “Christmas is the worst part of the year. It comes to you and it starts throwing s**t in your face: you don’t have a boyfriend yet, you have no idea what to do with your life, you’re poor, you’re going to gain weight with all this food. And since we have already learned how to be smart and how to pick up chicks, let me tell you 5 tips on how to survive Christmas and get clean out of it.  Continue reading

5 ways to piss off your mother

I had a simple childhood. My parents didn’t have a s**tload of money, therefore my toys were always far better then those of other kids. Why is that, you ask? Because they were mind games. I played mind games with my parents, grandparents, uncles and cousins. But what was my favorite game? To piss off my mother. Maybe it was the punishment, maybe my mother’s expression when she realised she is scared of me, or my father telling me “good boy” even though I’m a girl, the truth is I don’t know what it was, but it felt so good!

I will now let you 5 sadistic tricks that you can play on your mother, in order to make her think that giving you to adoption wouldn’t be that bad. Good luck! Continue reading