Dear Diary,

It has been a long time since we’ve last spoken. I missed you. No, no, I really missed you. Oh, stop it, I know I’m not irreplaceable. Oh, you make me blush so hard that I might as well be taken as an Easter egg. What? No, I haven’t lost weight. But YOU on the other hand, God, you look stunning, dear! Oh, stop it, you!

Ok, let me tell you how I’ve been doing these past few months. I have been terribly depressed by the fact that I cannot be funny anymore. Being funny is a damn hard job, you see. No matter how hard I try, no matter how deep I dig, my creativity well when it comes to funny things seems to be dry.

Also, I have been doing a lot of research on awnings. But I will keep that super-important stuff for myself. Sorry, it’s classified information. No, no, I can’t share it. Other than that, I have been sleeping really well. I usually sleep 8 hours now, which is a good thing. I sleep 4 hours at night, then 2 more at school and then 2 more when I get home. Life has never been sweeter.

Dear Diary,

I think I’m suffering of insomnia. Or it may be the fact that I’m having 3 cups of coffee and 1 ¬†bottle of coke/ day. But I think it’s insomnia though. Last night, my mind started wandering and it didn’t stop until 3 a.m. What was I thinking? I don’t know. I thought about my bachelor degree diploma paper for about 15 minutes. Then I thought about my friends for another 5 minutes. And just when I was ready to fall asleep, it hit me. The world is such a cruel place! There’s no room left for dreaming anymore. We’re tiny robots, working our asses all day long to pay the debts. The Universe is so damn big that our debts mean nothing, compared to the debts of all the aliens out there!

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